I’m sort of excellent at embarrassing myself. I’ve spent the last twenty-one years mastering the art of self humiliation. Here’s some of the dumb things I’ve done.
- I fell over whilst receiving the award for clumsiest skier. Yeah. That happened.
- I once stayed on a bus I was meant to get off of. Sure, everyone’s done that or come close. Except, my friend was with me and I watched her get off the bus, instead of getting off with her. And I then waved at her, completely oblivious.
- In my first week at my new uni Uni I went to the wrong room for each of my four classes. What’s worse is, I sat through two full tutorials, completely confused when they told me my name wasn’t on the roll.
4. I got my side fringe caught in a comb when I was twelve, my Mum had to cut it out, leaving me with a very short, very jagged front fringe. It took me a year to grow that baby out.
5. I thought rabbits laid eggs till I was sixteen. I’m intelligent, I swear.
6. I ran out on a date because I hadn’t realised the dude was such a creeper. I took a phone call in the movie and literally ran to the train station. How romantic.
7. Last year, in the hopes of re-inventing myself, I cut a front fringe. It wasn’t the look I was going for but it wasn’t a disaster. So, a bit panicked, I cut my hair into a chin length bob thinking it would make me look super edgy. It was the most unflattering look I’ve ever sported, seriously, I’ve burned all the photos so I can’t show you. Trust me, it was bad. It’s been a year and I’m still haunted by the six months it took me to get it past my shoulders.
8. I was raised in a Catholic family, had twelve years of Catholic education and I’d like to think I’m kind of tight with Jesus. But…it took me a while to figure out that the cross we hang around our necks as jewellery is symbolic of Jesus dying on the cross. And by a while, I mean I didn’t realise until like last month. Sorry Jesus.
9. I bought a pair of boots online last year, I wear them nearly everyday, and I am in constant discomfort. I looked at my order a month ago, turns out I ordered a size six. I am a size eight. Can someone please hold my hand and guide me through adulthood, I am not doing it right.
10. I regularly put coffee in my coffee machine without the filter…and proceed to make myself a lovely, grainy cup of coffee. Seriously, help me! Anyone, please, I don’t care if you judge me, I need someone to tell me how to stop being an idiot!